Well here I am one year later. What a year it has been. I am actually surprised at how quick it snuck up on me.
This week last year was one of the worse weeks in my entire life, to that point at least. I had my miscarriage this time last year. I still remember the pain and anguish I suffered after losing the baby I so desperately wanted. I didn’t think I would ever get past that feeling. However I am here a year later and I am doing pretty well. Mind you my world is currently falling down around me but I am remarkably handling it well. I give a lot of credit to my meds for that.
My 6th wedding anniversary is this coming weekend. Yup last year I wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate our wedding anniversary after spending most of the week in and out of the hospital and grieving . This year I still don’t feel much like celebrating. That is a large part to do with the fact that my husband has decided he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He fell in love with a tramp from El Paso that he met on an online social gaming site that is pretty much a bed of cheating spouses and crazy people.
I will probably spend the next little while getting some things out that I had bottled up over the last few months. I realize that it was eating me alive so I have decided to pour that excess energy into this blog. I will try and keep the bitchfest to a minimum but I expect a lot of changes to be happening with me and my son in the next little while. So bare with me and maybe I will get through it in one piece.
My family doctor did tell me she is quite impressed with my coping abilities. She said going through something like I have can drive a fully functioning, normal person around the bend. Here I am trying to get through my severe depression only to discover the person I am supposed to count on he decided to check out.
But it wouldn’t be the madhouse without everything going to hell in a hand basket at the same time. I have learned to live my life in chaos. Should I have expected anything less? So here I am embarking on a new journey to discovery.
I am not attempting to find myself but I will be doing my damnedest to create who I want to be. I am tired of waiting for someone else. I am jumping in and going to enjoy the ride.
Hugs and Kisses from the Madhouse