...I am no longer in you.
Recently I made a huge trip out of my comfort zone. I don't usually venture too far from the Madhouse. I like familiar. Familiar is safe to me. While I don't have a particular routine (since I dislike routine) I like to be places that I know. So it was shocking to me as well as people that know me, when I up and decided to fly to Alberta recently, to visit an old ex from high school.
Back in September I received a message from an old love from high school, asking how I was doing. We hadn't spoken in almost twenty years after a very bad break up. I was shocked to receive a message from him but at the same time it made me smile. I had been thinking of him quite a bit prior to that message, actually. He asked if he could call me and instead of hesitating like I normally would I gave him my number. Hearing his voice again put a smile on my face. I was a little surprised at how easy it was to talk to him after such a long time. It was like no time had passed.
We started talking regularly after that. Remembering a lot of the stupid crap we had done in high school. Sharing what has been going on with the last twenty years. He has relocated to Alberta and after a few weeks of talking he asked if I would go out to visit him. He thought I could use the vacation since things have been pretty tense in the Madhouse, as of late.
It was completely crazy but I agreed to go out to visit. I have several friends in Calgary and I have never been past Ontario so I would see something new. People that know me well, know how terrified of flying I am. So getting on a plane to fly out to Calgary was definitely something I wouldn't normally do.
I had been told by so many people that I was crazy and shouldn't go. Normally I would have talked myself out of going and that it was crazy and irresponsible to just up and decide to go flying across the country to see someone you hadn't seen since you were in high school but this time I didn't have that. Somehow I knew it was the right thing to do and I would definitely regret it if I didn't go.
I arranged for the teen to stay at a friend's house while I was away and I boarded a plane bound for Calgary. I was nervous but calm at the same time. It would be the longest I was ever away from the teen. I have only travelled alone once prior to this trip. I had to change planes in Toronto which I have NEVER done before. I prefer to fly direct whenever possible when I manage to get on a plane. I was pretty nervous about it but I made my connection and finally ended up in Calgary.
It was great to see (let's call him) Baker, again. It was so strange being there and I kept staring at him because I couldn't believe I was there. I never do things like this. Definitely out of my comfort zone. I was there for about five days. So much went wrong while I was there but I had a fantastic time anyway. It was strange because normally when things go wrong I freak out but I just went with it this time and had a great time.
Neo and I took a day trip to Banff and had a fantastic day walking around and snapping pictures. I was absolutely in love with the mountains.
It was a fantastic trip and I actually didn't want it to end. It definitely got me out of my comfort zone and I learned to just go with the flow. A new thing for me, to be sure. I do believe now that the person you are with can determine your own reactions. If you are with someone that you have to be on guard with all the time you are going to be on edge and jumpy all the time.
Neo is definitely someone that I can be relaxed with so I found myself very relaxed and easy going with him. He had actually said he found me easy going and I laughed because most people think I am far from easy going.
I have been back from Calgary for a month now. Baker and I have been talking pretty much every day. We are getting to know each other again. Much has changed with both of us over the last twenty years. He knew me before I was broken and I have been trying to put myself back together over the last two years, as he has since his recent break up. I have no idea what is in store for the both of us in the future but right now we are taking things slowly. Both of us have been hurt a great deal and have become a little jaded when it comes to our hearts.
For the first time in a long time I am actually hopeful. Only time will tell now. Until then I will continue trying to step out of my comfort zone. Yes there is a chance things can go horribly wrong but you are actually living. It is an awesome feeling.
Hugs and Smoochies from The Madhouse
<3 Arawynn <3
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Recently I attended a Charity Ball in the city where my Madhouse is located. The theme was The Spirit Within and you were to dress up as an animal. When I first found out it was an Animal theme I got excited. I immediately thought about dressing up like a cat but somehow knew this would be a popular costume so I began to look for inspiration.
While walking through my local dollar store I spotted some masquerade masks in the party section. They were butterflies and I have a weakness for butterflies so I started to look through the selection of masks and came across this beautiful mask.
I was immediately taken with it and had to buy it. I decided then that I was going to be a Silver and Black Fox. I got to work brainstorming on how to make this costume possible. I knew I was going to be in need of a tail and being the frugal lady that I am I knew I wanted to make it myself rather than buy it. So I set to work researching how to's on fox tail making. I was surprised with the amount out there. I ended up settling on making it out of yarn. It seemed to look more realistic to the faux fur and definitely a lot cheaper. More elbow grease to getting it made but I am not afraid of a challenge.
It took me about two weeks to complete, working a little each night on it. There is a lot of work involved but I think it is totally worth it. For the tutorial I used click here
|This was taken after my party, it held together very nicely :)|
My friend and I had a blast. He did a great job on his costume as well. He chose to go as a Raven.
|Quote the Raven "Nevermore"|
He was very proud of his mask. He purchased a plain mask and added all the feathers to it and even included a blood tear. He did a fabulous job.
|One Foxy Lady off to the Ball|
There was a photo booth so Raven and I had our picture taken together. Yes I am know I am freakishly short. I tend to think of myself as fun-sized as opposed to short. Much more interesting, I think.
There was much dancing and fun to be had. We both had our Tarot cards read. I was quite surprised at my reading this year. When I first sat down she chose a stone for me to hold. She handed me a Rose Quartz. She explained that I needed to accept love and I was having trouble doing that and Rose Quartz would help me with it. She said something was in the works with a man, someone intelligent and I need to just accept love. This will make me extremely happy. She also said I have a lot of people telling me negative things about the situation with this mystery man. She told me to not let them get to me. This is a good thing in the works and to take their negative comments and release them with love.
I was stunned as was Raven. He is pretty much my best friend so he knows all about the guy I have recently reconnected with and had been talking to since September and who I was planning a trip to see in November. I had been wondering if I should make the trek out to visit him. I had asked several people what they thought and pretty much everyone thought I was mad and trying to convince me that it wasn't a good idea. This reading however, confirmed how I felt and it was the right thing to do.
Raven had his cards read as well. I think it was pretty accurate for him. I had my very first Tarot card reading with the same lady a year prior. I was so happy to see she was there again and we were able to have her read us.
All in all it was a great night. Raven actually ended up befriending a lady he met there. Maybe there is a love connection in the works there. I am hoping for my own to develop. I am so glad he was able to make it. It was nice to hang out with someone not trying to get into my pants all the time. Sometimes I wonder about men.
We did find it highly amusing that we had ended up being a Aesop Fable. If you are unaware of the story of the Fox and the Raven please click here. There was no cheese harmed in the making of this blog post :P
I am actually looking forward to next year. That is if the Madhouse is still in it's current local. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
What did the Fox Say?
Hugs and Smoochies of course ^.~
<3 Arawynn <3