Honestly I am seriously baffled at the insanity in my life and the insanity I see online.
I haven’t really talked much about what happened between “the husband” and I. Basically he met a woman on an online gaming site and “fell in love” with a woman he had never met, and probably would never meet. Even to the point where he got “cybermarried” to this woman. Just saying this makes me want to laugh out loud. Apparently this is a new thing. The promise to get married in real life when two people that have never met finally do meet. Maybe I am cynical when it comes to love but this whole thing seems completely insane to me.
The teen and I went through 7 months of hell while “the husband” chatted all night with this “woman” and her kids. Having “family time” together by watching movies together over the phone and bible time. I would sit here and shake my head at the insanity of it all. “The teen” was definitely not impressed. “The husband” , however, didn’t think there was anything wrong with what he was doing. Having an online affair right in front of his wife and child. The fact that this “woman” kept proclaiming she was a good Christian woman. Funny last time I read the bible I didn’t see getting involved with a married man in there. Guess I have a different bible.
Now, before people get in an uproar, I want to say that I know there are plenty of couples that meet through the internet and fall in love and meet and end up getting married. I am not talking about this. What I find infuriating are the men and women out there that using online gaming sites or social media to cheat on their spouses. Some even going as far as to travel to have booty calls. Completely insane, imo but not for all it seems.
Now it has been almost a year since “the husband’s” relationship started with this “woman”. I knew right away something wasn’t right. Then the lies started. “There is nothing going on”, “We’re just friends”, “You are so paranoid” among other phrases. I just knew in my gut that he was lying. In my experience women just “know” when their men are up to something. Could be just my spidey sense is on hyperdrive.
Now it has been a few months without “the husband” in the house and things are getting back to normal in The Madhouse, or so I thought. They say all things happen for a reason and while this totally threw our lives upside down it has opened my eyes to a lot of things they were closed to. I am actually doing a lot better and feeling a lot better about myself all around. Most days I actually am grateful all of this happened.
Saying that, however, I now have to say that I would NEVER wish what I went through on any woman. Even a woman that hates me and the feeling is mutual. So when a good friend of mine started acting weird a couple of months ago my spidey sense kicked up again and low and behold he is doing the EXACT same thing as “the husband” was. Involved with a girl in the states that he has NEVER met but it madly in love with and he had the gall to ask me to be there for him as a friend because he needed me to be there for him because what I went through gave him the strength to realize he was miserable in his marriage. Great for him, but I told him he was being stupid and he needed to stop this relationship NOW, until he ended things with his wife. It isn’t going to end well and if he got anything out of what happened to me he would know it is INSANE.
Now before everyone thinks I am a cold hearted biatch here is a tidbit about myself. I love my friends, all of them, even when they are being insanely stupid, but instead of coddling and praising for things I find insanely stupid I choose to say what is on my mind. It is what I want my friends to do for me. Sometimes you need that kick in the rear to wake up and snap out whatever you are doing at the time. Most are scared to be blunt because they don’t want to hurt feelings but if your closest friends can’t be completely honest with you who can? I would rather hurt feelings then finding out years later that all your friends thought your husband was a selfish, controlling a$$hat but didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
So I told my friend exactly what I thought, because I care about him as a person and don’t want him to walk the same path as “the husband” (which is not as glorious as “the husband” thought it would be but he made his choice) not to mention as much as I dislike his wife I would NEVER want her to go through what I went through. No one should be put through that. I really think this “relationship” is a whole lot of stupid but if he was insistent on being with this girl then he needed to make a choice. I told him he should end things with his wife before he got involved with someone new because it was just going to make things so much worse when his wife found out because she will find out. Women have a 6th sense for this shit, hell if he learned anything from my situation he would know not to be doing this and it could blow up in his face.
I refuse to be a cheerleader for him in this relationship and I told him as such. I also have more sympathy for his wife than him right now because I have been where she is, only she doesn’t “know” it yet. If he was looking for someone to cheer him on and support him in this insanely stupid thing, I could not do it. Needless to say I haven’t heard from him since, and even went as far as to unfriend him on Facebook (for the sake of my sanity). Am I sad to lose a friend, Hellz yea I am. Friends are very important to me and I will miss my friend dearly, but I just can’t sit there and be a cheerleader for someone doing the same damn thing my husband did to me. Oh Hellz to the NO on that one.
I don’t know what possessed him to even ask me to be there and supportive in this. I want him to be happy but for the love of all that is holy don’t get involved with someone while you are still living like you are married it won’t end well. I swear people have lost their minds.
Maybe I am overreacting a tad, maybe I am still a tad bitter about what happened to me. Maybe the feelings are just too fresh to deal with this right now. All I know is I think he is incredibly stupid and I feel for his wife. I just don’t get it the fascination in tearing apart someone for someone that you have never met. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. *sigh* I do wish him all the best and hope it was worth it.
As for me I am done with this whole thing and going to concentrate on my own happiness for a while. I am actually surprisingly happy to be single, for now anyway. I am going to enjoy this time in my life, until love finds me, for good this time.
Hugs and Smoochies from the Madhouse