They say that everything happens for a reason. To find the good in every situation, even the bad ones and, insert any random cliched quote here, on and on. I have been making a conscience effort to try and be more positive since my marriage exploded. At times it has been very, very trying. I have been managing as best as I can which is all I can really expect. However; saying that, I do have to say it has been one crazy, trip when it comes to men and dating, or not dating.
I am learning that there is a lesson to be learned in any situation, whether it be good or bad. This past month I have been doing a lot of soul searching, re-evaluating past relationships and looking at them in a different light, so to speak. Trying to change the thoughts from "I'm not/wasn't good enough" to "I am worthy". Seeing where I possibly went wrong and what was there to learn from the failed relationship.
I won't go into all the gory details but I do have to say thank you to OC Casanova, who showed me that I should be proud of my geekiness. and that I need to work on my boundary settings and sticking with them. Thank you to Goth guy for helping me discover that I am not a casual fun kind of girl and I want a real relationship and not just friends with benefits. TO showed me that someone could want to just spend time with me without having the goal of getting in my pants. That I was worth spending time getting to know and showing me that I was beautiful and wonderful. I will be forever thankful for his friendship. I am thankful to Stittsville for showing me that I shouldn't live in the past and there are two sides to every story.
A big thank you to my ex for showing me that I am stronger than he gave me credit for. I am capable of making decisions on my own and get things paid and the teen fed. He showed me how to appreciate what really matters and what doesn't.
Now I come to the entire point of my post. I recently had a guy I know tell me that it is not his fault he can't keep his hands to himself when around me because I am too hot and he can't help himself. SAY WHAT??????
I saw red with this statement, trying to wrap my head around it. I felt like he was basically saying what rapists say about woman asking for it because of how they dressed. Even if a woman was walking around naked in front of a man, it did not mean he had the right to touch her or have sex with her because she was naked. It is called self control. It totally burns my buns when I hear comments like "She was asking for it because of how she dressed" or "she is a flirt and wanted it". Why should woman suffer because some men have no self control? Also some men seem to mistake politeness as an invitation for sex. Since when has politeness meant you wanted to sleep with a person? I have seriously had guys think this. It boggles the mind, I tells ya.
NO MEANS NO! Period.
He can't help himself because I am "too hot" Oh please. I have told him time and time again not to make advances toward me. Sometimes I wonder if he gets off on it. I have said No nicely, I have said No firmly, I have said No in down right hell b*tch style and he comes out with this "I'm too hot and he can't control himself around me" (insert eye roll here) I weep for humanity if this is male mentality.
He didn't see what the big deal was, actually thought it was a compliment. To me it shows he has no respect for me as person.
How would you react if someone told you that they couldn't help but try to manhandle you because you were too hot?
I am not even sure where to begin with trying to figure out the lesson to be learned in this. I am sure in time it will come. For now I am content to be grateful for the lessons I have learned already and for the lessons I will learn in the future.
Hugs and Smoochies,
from the Madhouse
<3 Arawynn <3