Mad Alice is in the House....

The Teen and I attended our local Comiccon  and I decided to attend as Mad Alice. The Teen introduced me to American McGee's Alice and Madness Returns a couple of years ago. I have always loved Alice in Wonderland and have to admit I was mildly disturbed when he first showed me the game shots online. 

I did discover there was something about the game that I loved. Maybe that it contained a darker element to it. It wasn't a typical flowery version of Alice. It was darker and more intense and I was drawn to that. So when tossing out ideas for costumes I fell on Mad Alice. 

This is my first foray into the world of cosplay, not counting Halloween. I wanted to make as much of the costume as possible. I am funny like that. So I started collecting pieces over the last few months, some of which I have posted already as teasers. I have been very fortunate to find awesome deals on things. I scoured the net looking for things to bring this costume together. Buying what I wasn't able to, or didn't have time to make myself. 

I made the dress myself, not using a pattern because I am risky like that. I had purchased a pattern for an Alice in Wonderland costume but I didn't have the time or patience to sit there and work out math to enlarge the pattern. So I decided to wing it using my sewing know-how and muddling through. I have always been told I tend to do things the hard way and this probably is a good example of this. 

It was an interesting experience, to say the least. My sewing machine died a couple of weeks before the con so I thankfully was able to borrow a machine from my co-worker. 

I basically traced a tank top I had (of course not calculating that the tank top was jersey, which stretches, and my dress material was not) and then made a full circle skirt from what I have learned making a 50s dress years ago. The sleeves I did use a pattern for since no alterations were required for those. The apron I pretty much whipped up. 

I had made stencils for the pocket symbols and used fabric medium with black acrylic paint to apply to the pockets. Sewed them on, reaching back to high school sewing class in pocket making, I might add. 

I had a bunch of fun splattering the red paint all over the pristine, white apron in my living room. Normally I cringe at messy clothing but how can you have a Mad Alice without a little blood splatter. So I laid out a drop cloth and got to work splashing droplets of red paint all over. By the end I was giggling like a little girl. It was fun to get messy. I had lost touch with that childlike wonder many moons ago. It was good to get back in touch. 

I also got back in touch with my childlike state of playing with clay. A statement piece of Alice's dress has to be her skull bow in the back. She also wears an Omega necklace around her neck. I knew I could make both so I set to work. It was good working with my hands and shaping things. 

The Teen would regularly check in on my progress and nod his approval. He seemed impressed and I got a few "that will work" as I went along. 

All in all it was an amazing experience. There was some blood, sweat and tears along the way but totally worth it and I am looking forward to next year and seeing what I can come up with. I do think I might give the steampunk outfit a stab *pun totally intended* 

I will be posting about the actual con in a day or two. Until then, Hugs and Smoochies from Mad Alice in the Madhouse 

<3 Arawynn <3

Out Damn Pox, Out I Say....

It would seem that Chicken Pox has descended upon the Madhouse this week. The Teen is absolutely, positively miserable right now. I feel for him. 

I didn't notice the spots until really late Tuesday night. Being that The Teen has asthma and it kicks up when he is sick I wasn't taking any chances so off to emergency we went (at the direction of the TeleHealth nurse, of course) 

We were there all night, in isolation seeing as they weren't sure what it was when we were triaged. After about five hours we finally saw a doctor who promptly looked him over and declared "It's not Chicken Pox, he probably just ate something new or came into contact with something and is having an allergic reaction". Blood work was done as well as swabs and off to home we went. 

I headed off to work after dropping The Teen off at home and honestly could have tried out for an extra on The Walking Dead. Felt like it too, but made it through the day. 

Got home to discover the rash had gotten worse. I was still convinced it was Chicken Pox even though the doctor had said it wasn't. Gave him some allergy meds and his antibotics and he headed off to bed after a very large bowl of chicken noodle soup (pretty much the only thing he will eat when he isn't feeling well) 

Woke up this morning and came downstairs to find him sitting on the couch looking absolutely miserable. You could seriously play connect the dots all over his body. I refrained, of course, would have been bad form and I am sure he would be less than amused. 

So I called our family doctor and was told she was booked solid for the day and was like "F*&K". I really wanted to get his checked. This momma bear doesn't like to see her cub not feeling well. The receptionist said the Doctor wasn't in yet, but would call back when she did come in and she had a chance to talk to her about it. 

I was so grateful to get a call saying that the doctor wanted him in and checked ASAP. So off to the doctor we went and within five seconds of walking in the room she declared it to definitely be Chicken Pox and was none too impressed to find out the hospital had passed it off as nothing more than an allergic reaction. 

Seems he could have had less of an outbreak had the hospital given him anti-viral meds when we took him in, instead of him now having a worse outbreak and miserable now. The teen was unimpressed, as was I. I get that hospitals can get crazy busy and the staff are often overworked but this isn't the first time we have gone in and been sent home only to have his condition worsen and him end up in the hospital when they could have done preventative measures to keep him from getting worse. 

I love my family doctor, she is amazing. She made room for him even though she was booked solid. She gave me the run down on what to do to alleviate some of his discomfort. Told me to what to look for, and when to call her back. Like I said she is amazing and we are so blessed to have her. 

The Teen is of course not too impressed with being told he has the Chicken Pox and can't really do anything but wait it out. All I keep hearing from him is how much it "SUCKS". I am praying for a speedy recovery for him. 

I have been doing a lot of disinfecting and taking immune boosting stuffs. Just a waiting game now till the healing begins.

So Out Damn Pox, Out I Say!

<3 Arawynn <3

Balance....

.......in life and relationships. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking since my marriage ended. Maybe that is a good thing, sometimes I wonder if it might be a bad thing. I have a nasty habit of over thinking which causes me a lot of issues in my life. I am sure there are many people out there that do the same. 

How do you find balance? It has been a question I have been asking myself for years. Not sure if I am any closer to answering that question, however. 

Currently I have been thinking about finding a balance in what you are looking for in a partner. Have you ever had such chemistry with someone only to discover weeks later, after the sexual chemistry has slowed down, that the person is dull and you have nothing to talk about? Or you meet a great guy and can talk for hours but you don't feel physical attraction for them. 

Over the last two and a half years I have had a few encounters with men. Some I have been interested in but they weren't interested in me other than a trying to get into my pants. Some have been interested in me but I just couldn't see a relationship with them because I just wasn't interested in them sexually. Hey, it happens. 

I have heard the typical phrases like, "he is a really nice guy, he has his own house, a car and a good job, you'll be perfect together", "You're too picky, you'll never find a guy" etc etc, from well meaning friends. 

First off, the first thing I look for in a man isn't whether he has a house, car or some other material possessions. Are they nice to have, sure but not mandatory for me to consider him as a prospective mate. That being said, I am not able to settle for someone I don't mesh with just because he has possessions and "will take care of me", either. This isn't the 50s. 

I am not looking for someone that is just fantastic in the bedroom and we have nothing to talk about or in common enough to spend time with outside said bedroom, either. I have been there done that and do not care to repeat it. 

Sexual chemistry fades over time. I firmly believe you have to have something in common enough outside the bedroom because you can't always have sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is important in a relationship, to a point. It shouldn't be the end all and be all of a relationship. I have had a relationship or two where I got along great outside the bedroom with the person but I found myself unsatisfied when it came to the bedroom. 

I am looking for someone that has a balance between the two. I have yet to find such a man. I thought I had with Baker but that didn't pan out so I am still on my search for the person I can spend time with, have a family with and grow old with. I spent 16 years in a relationship that I wasn't particularly happy in. I muddled through because I thought it was what I needed to do. I thought that is all I was good enough for. I was wrong. 

It was hard admitting to myself that I hadn't been happy. Once I did though it was like a huge weight had been lifted and I could move on with finding happiness. 

Yes I am in my thirties with a teenage son but I am not giving up hope. When people tell me I am being too picky or tell me I am not getting younger I smile and thank them for their advice. I don't want to settle just to make other people happy because it makes them uncomfortable to see me single. 

I did so many things in my life to make other people happy while making myself unhappy in the process and I don't want to do that any longer. No one should have to feel like they need to settle just because someone else says they should. 

Do what makes you happy. Be what you want to be. Live how you want to live. If people complain about what you do it is their issue not yours. 

I know there is someone out there for me and I am not giving up. I just know I am not going to settle any longer. He will come along when the time it right. Until then I just have to do what makes me happy and live my life and have faith it will happen for me. 

HUGS AND SMOOCHIES 

<3 ARAWYNN <3

Inspirational Stones....

 May the Luck o' the Irish be with you today and always. 

I have seen stones in stores for decoration purposes with a variety of words on them. I decided I wanted to have some of these stones at home, in a place where I could see them, or pick them up and meditate on the word written. 

They looked simple enough to make and indeed they are. 

All you need is some River Rocks (preferably ones that have smooth surfaces) and a metallic permanent marker in Silver. I washed the stones prior to marking on them so I had a clean surface in which to write upon. 

I set all my materials out in front of me. I picked up a stone and wrote whatever word came to my mind as I picked it up. While writing the word I visualized the meaning of the word or something the represented the meaning to me. I then set them aside to dry, so I didn't smudge the writing. 

I didn't seal the writing with varnish or anything. I prefer to have the stones natural. Feel free to use a sealer if you wish. 

Now I have inspirational stones in which to visualize with and decorate with as well. I am all about the multiple use thing lately. I just need to find the right container in which to place the stones so they are easily accessible. 

You can give this a try and randomly pick up a stone. Close your eyes, if you wish. Think upon the word written upon the stone you chose and visualize it. You may be surprised at the reaction you have. 

You could always use smaller stones and carry them around in your purse or pocket and whenever you feel the stone, hold it in your hands and visualize what it represents. For example: if you are in need of confidence, carry the confidence stone around with you and whenever you find you need a little boost. Just hold the stone and visualize situations involving confidence. Visualize yourself as more confident and you may be surprised at the outcome. 

I had a crafty weekend. I made up this set of Inspiration stones and I whipped up a St. Paddy's Day hat for a co-worker. She loved it and wore it well. We Irish Lassies had to stick together on this fine day :) 

Here is the hat I made for her this past weekend. I have to say I am really loving the look of felt and want to make more in different colours. I would wear a mini-top hat every day. 

In honour or St. Patrick's Day I am leaving you all with the following. 

Hugs and Smoochies from the Madhouse

<3 Arawynn <3

Closure....

They say when one door closes another opens. Baker has said he never completely closes doors but given our conversation yesterday, it would seem he does. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few weeks since last talking to Baker, prior to speaking with him yesterday, of course. It is amazing how taking a step back and looking at the situation from a different angle can change your outlook. 

At one point I thought he and I were perfect for each other but after telling him I couldn't be friends with him and blocking him, (as well as his ex, for good measure) I was able to think clearly and came to the conclusion he wasn't the greatest guy for me after all. I never truly felt comfortable being myself while talking to him, always on edge, afraid to say the wrong thing. I felt psycho-analyzed by him constantly and it was starting to grate on my nerves. Not to mention the fatherly lectures I would get. I already have a dad, thank you. 

Ladies, you should feel comfortable being you and not up on egg shells, in fear of what he will think of you. The right guy will accept you for who you are. You shouldn't have to watch what you say for fear of his reaction. I never knew what to say when talking to Baker because I didn't want to scare him off and the fact of the matter is I wouldn't have scared him off if he truly cared about me.  If he truly cares for you then he will want you in his life and to work with you. Otherwise, you are just wasting time.

Also ladies don't get involved with men that are still hung up on their exes, even if they say you can start off as friends first and work toward a relationship. If they tell you they just got out of a relationship or they still have feelings for their ex, take my advice and walk.  There is no room for you in his heart until he is ready to let go. I fell into that trap and I am passing on the knowledge I have gathered from my latest foray into the world of men. If you are looking for just friends, then by all means go ahead, however, those of you hoping for relationships tread carefully. 

It honestly felt like I was just a place holder until his ex was available again. He said that wasn't the case but his actions spoke otherwise. His fave saying was "Words are pretty, Actions speak louder" so why would he think I wouldn't consider that possibility when that is how it looked to me and others around me. 

Yesterday Baker told me that I would get over this and he and I can't be friends. I think it is cute that he thinks I am still hoping he and I can have a relationship of some kind. I gave up that thought a long while ago and talking to him yesterday just confirmed that for me. I just wanted my book back and to be done with it. As for us being friends, I know we can't be friends, which is why I told him last time I spoke with him that we can't be friends. 

He is choosing to go backward and I choose to move forward. I wouldn't dream of going back to my ex and I was with him for a helluva lot longer than Baker was with his ex and we have a biological child together. I think it is commendable that Baker wants to be there for children that aren't his biologically. There are too few men that can be there for someone else's children. It was one of the things I liked about Baker. I have met so many men that bolt as soon as I mention "the teen" and Baker didn't. It blinded me to all the other faults, however.

Having him going back toward his ex after listening to him bitch about how miserable she made him just boggles my mind and even if he said we could be friends, I wouldn't just for that reason. Personally I think it is a disaster in the making, if they do end up getting back together. It would be like me taking back my ex. *Shudder* 

I know that this doesn't lessen who I am as a person. I don't understand his decision completely but I am not beating myself up over it. There is nothing I could have done as long as he was hung up on his ex and it doesn't mean she is better than me, or she won, just that he is hung up on her and couldn't see me because of it. I know for next time not to get involved with someone in that situation, simple as that. 

I do feel sorry for the next guy that attempts to start something with me. Not only does he have to prove to me that he is worthy of my time, he also has to prove to the Teen as well. The Teen was actually disappointed because he said Baker seemed like a good guy but he just ended up turning out to be a douche in the end and I could do a lot better. I am raising a wise child. 

The teen doesn't believe in playing with a girl's feelings. He has an interesting outlook on dating. He says dating is for finding a spouse and if you aren't planning on settling down any time soon, why date? I am very proud to know he won't be one of those guys that plays girls. 

So all in all I am feeling pretty good. I think Baker expected something more in terms of a reaction to his speech but I really don't feel anything for him. What's done is done and you can't go back. Now there is room in my life for someone that wants to be in it and when I least expect it they will appear. Until that time comes I will continue to do things that bring me joy and creating me and it will be fantastic :)

Hugs and Smoochies from the Madhouse. 

<3 Arawynn <3

The Countdown is on...

....for Comic Con. 

I purchased tickets for "the teen" and I for our local Comic Con, coming up in a couple of months. 

Both of us are so excited. He actually said he wants to start working on a cosplay idea because last year he was taken unaware, with all the cosplayers. He keeps teetering back and forth on that though. He thinks the ideas he has are too difficult. I told him anything is possible. I have been trying to convince him to go as one of the doctor's since it is fairly easy to acquire costume pieces. He thinks it is overdone. My little hipster :)

As for myself, I have a costume in the works. I have started brainstorming. When I ran the idea by "the teen" he was like "No" but he has warmed up to the idea and has helped me tweak my costume by researching the character online. 

I found an awesome replica of one of the dresses for this character but it is way out of the price range in which I am comfortable with. So I am going with the DIY route. I am handy with a sewing machine so I got this. I am going to "Make it Work" so to speak. Using the words of the awesome Tim Gunn. What can I say I love Project Runway. ^.^ 

Here is a little sneak peek. Any guesses?

 

I need to tweek the boots a bit to make them more like the actually character. Totally doable. 

I have been totally getting my geek on this weekend. Watched all Six seasons of The Guild. I love Wil Wheaton and Felicia Day. I got my picture taken at last year's con and I squeed when Felicia Day said I was so cute. I seriously had a Rudolph moment when Clarice tells him she thinks he is cute. I totally bolted away from her and Wil Wheaton saying "She thinks I am CUTE! OMG OMG" I remember Wil looking at me as a ran away saying "Nice to meet you" with a completely confused look on his face. Awesome times were had last year. 

Yesterday I spent many hours on my feet attempting to track down black and white striped stockings for my costume and finding none. Even tried online and there is a serious shortage online as well and in efforts to keep expenses low on this endeavour I refuse to pay $20+ for a pair of tights. So I am improvising slightly. Making it work is my mantra, as of late :)

I also signed up for my first painting class yesterday. Should be an interesting activity. I am broadening my horizons and I am actually, very much, looking forward to it. Looking at all the choices in the art supply section of my local craft store is pretty overwhelming but I know I can figure it out. Future big artist maybe? You never know in the Madhouse. 

Live long and...you know the rest. ^.~

Hugs and Smoochies from the Madhouse. 

<3 Arawynn <3

Distractions....

....have been a must over the last few weeks. 

I have started watching The Vampire Diaries again. What can I say, I have a thing for tortured men and Stephan and Damon certainly qualify ^.~ 

Something Elena said really struck a chord with me. I have been trying to put things in perspective lately, and while I had been really down about things not developing further with Baker, life goes on and I am actually good. It was great while it lasted but like she says in the quote, the sun came up and reality set in. I can't forget that it wasn't all negative. I have struggled with finding positives in situations in the past and dwelling on the negative. Trying it differently this time. 

I liked the quote so much I decided to make a little meme for it using one of my photographs. It seemed very Mystic Fall-esque. 

The important thing to remember after something ending, especially if it ends badly, that even if you get hurt life goes on and you can't hide yourself away. You must get back up on your feet and try again. 

Been getting out and exploring. This past weekend I spent time shopping downtown at a bead store I discovered by accident this past fall. They were having a Getting Ready for Spring Sale so naturally I had to pop in and see what I could find. Ended up walking out of there spending under $19 for all of this.

I had almost not gone to the store but I am definitely glad I did. Lucked out, maybe because I was wearing my "Lucky" necklace? Seriously, I have a necklace that says "Lucky". Might wear it more often since I have been finding ridiculous deals lately.  

The plastic containers were only $1 each and everything else was 50% off. Going to be creating some lovely wearable items. I have been interested in Crystals and Gemstones for a long while now. A friend actually lent me her Tiger's Eye bracelet after my falling out with Baker, in January. Tiger's Eye is supposed to help with repelling negativity and boosting self confidence. I have to say that is certainly helped me out. So much so that I am making my own bracelet out of Tiger's Eye to wear. 

When I was picking out the above stones I just let my intuition guide me. It was a good day for me and I found some amazing finds. As I create my pieces I will share them with you and explain the properties of each. I have been learning a lot about minerals, and gemstones. Such beauty to be found in the world. 

I also found a new little friend this weekend. 

I am seriously addicted to Claw Machines. I can't seem to pass one without popping in a Toonie and seeing what I can get. I love to challenge myself and attempt to get multiple little prizes with the claw if I don't get a big prize.  I have to say I am pretty successful at it when you see my collection of little stuffies. I have several larger stuffies as well. Some I actually won for myself. I saw this little guy there and knew he had to come home with me. I believed he would be mine and he was :) Now if I can do that with a man I will be set :P

I used to be scared of the Pac-Man ghosts but this little guy is too cute to be scared of. He now has a permanent home next to my pillow. He can protect me at night *lol*

Spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with the teen watching movies and relaxing. Even managed to get him out of the Madhouse for a few hours to go to the mall. All in all it was a fantastic weekend. I am truly blessed. 

Hope the weekend was good to you all. <3 

Hugs and Smoochies from the Madhouse. 

<3 Arawynn <3